When I ask clients questions during intuitive readings or mentoring, sometimes I’ll ask something as simple as, “How’s your spirit today?”

And when someone is feeling disconnected from themselves, the immediate response is often, “I don’t know.”

Before they’ve even taken a breath. Before they’ve given themselves permission to be curious. Before they’ve explored what might actually be happening within them.

It’s an automatic response.

And what I’ve come to understand is that “I don’t know” can sometimes be a way of avoiding responsibility for our choices.

Because when we acknowledge that we know something, or that we have a feeling about something, we might have to do something with that information.

We might have to make a decision. Take a risk. Change something. Admit that we want something different.

And our little ego intellect can be very good at finding ways to avoid that discomfort.

If I don’t take action, I can’t fail.

If I keep saying I don’t know, I can stay exactly where I am, at least for a little while longer.

The problem is that inaction has a cost, too.

When we keep responding this way, we can begin to hide from our authentic selves. We hide from our capabilities, our power, and our ability to create something different.

We forget that some of the most powerful words we can use are “I decide” and “I am.”

There’s a big difference between believing that we have no idea what to do and recognizing that we have the ability to make a choice, even when we don’t have all the answers.

And that difference matters.

Now, I want to make an important distinction here because I don’t believe that every “I don’t know” is a problem.

Sometimes, “I don’t know” is an honest and healthy response.

Maybe you genuinely don’t have the information you need. Maybe you’re still processing something. Maybe you need more time before making a decision.

That’s okay.

There is an openness in being able to say, “I don’t know yet. I’m willing to learn. I’m open to receiving support.”

That’s very different from the reflexive “I don’t know” that comes from fear, overwhelm, or the desire to avoid making a choice.

Think about someone who always needs to have the answer to everything. Even when they’re wrong, they’ll insist, “Oh, I know the answer!”

It reminds me of a TikTok video I saw of a dad whose daughter was talking about Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc.

She mentioned Mike Wazowski, and her dad responded as though he knew him from back in the day.

I had to laugh because it’s such a different expression of the same need to avoid uncertainty. Instead of saying “I don’t know,” the response becomes “I know everything.”

Both reactions can keep us from being genuinely open to what we don’t know.

There’s a difference between pretending we have all the answers and being grounded enough to say, “Actually, I’m not sure. Let me learn more.”

That second response requires self-awareness. It requires us to be comfortable enough in ourselves to remain open.

And that’s the energy I want us to cultivate.

One of the biggest things our ego intellect likes to believe is that we can only take action when we know exactly what we’re doing.

We tell ourselves that we need all the information first. We need to understand every step. We need to know how everything will turn out before we begin.

But think about your life for a moment.

There are so many things you didn’t know how to do before you learned them.

You didn’t know how to walk before you started walking.

You didn’t know how to read before you started reading.

You didn’t know how to navigate a relationship before you experienced your first one.

You learned by participating in life.

You took action, you had experiences, you figured things out, and you learned along the way.

So why do we expect ourselves to know everything before we begin something new?

Sometimes our intuition prompts us to make a change, explore a new direction, take a risk, or try something we’ve never done before.

And immediately, our little heads jump in with, “Wait, wait, wait. I need to know how to do this first!”

But what if we approached that moment differently?

What if, instead of saying, “I don’t know how,” we said, “I get to learn something new”?

What if we allowed ourselves to be curious?

When we believe we need all the answers before taking the first step, we can remain in a state of waiting forever. That waiting can create overwhelm and indecision, and it can disconnect us from the creative force we already are.

You don’t need to know every step to take the next one.

I have a beautiful friend, Marina, whom I love so much.

We were talking about different experiences she’d had that were way outside her comfort zone, and I asked her what led her to do those things.

She told me, “You know, I just wanted to see if I could do it. I wanted to see if I was capable.”

I loved that.

She wasn’t approaching the experience with the pressure of having to prove herself. She wasn’t telling herself she had to get it right or already know how to do everything.

She was curious.

“I wonder if I can do that.”

There’s something so freeing about that perspective because it gives us permission to explore our capabilities without turning everything into a test of our worth.

Instead of asking yourself, “What if I fail?” you can ask, “What if I can learn this?”

Instead of assuming you’re incapable, you can become curious about what might be possible.

I like to think of this as becoming your own believing eyes.

You’re allowing yourself to see your potential before you have all the evidence to prove it.

For example, maybe you’re learning how to DJ, and you have this dream of playing on a festival stage.

Your first thought might be, “I don’t know if I could do that.”

But what if you shifted it?

“I don’t know if I can do that yet, but I wonder if I can.”

Ooh, I bet I can.

I bet I can learn how.

Feel the difference?

You’re no longer using what you don’t know as a reason to stop yourself. You’re using it as an invitation to explore.

You don’t have to force yourself to believe that everything is possible. You can simply allow yourself to be curious about what’s possible for you.

So, how do we begin breaking the habit?

The first step is to notice it.

When you hear yourself automatically saying, “I don’t know,” pause for a moment.

My mom would always say this to me when I said, “I don’t know.”

“Is that true?”

It was a gentle pushback, an invitation to look a little deeper.

And you can do the same thing for yourself.

“Is it true that I don’t know?”

Give yourself a moment to actually check in.

Sometimes, the answer might be yes. You genuinely don’t know, and you need more information. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Sometimes, you’re overwhelmed and not ready to make a decision.

 That’s okay, too.

But other times, you might discover that you do have a feeling about the situation. You might already know what you want, but you’re afraid of what choosing it could mean.

You might be afraid of getting it wrong, disappointing someone, or having to make a change.

And that’s important information.

The goal isn’t to force yourself to have an answer. It’s to become aware of what’s happening beneath your automatic response.

You can begin replacing “I don’t know” with something that reflects where you actually are.

“I need a moment before making a decision.”

These small changes can help us move away from the rigid categories of right and wrong, good and bad, or all-or-nothing thinking.

They remind us that we can be in the process of learning without being powerless.

We can be uncertain and still be capable.

Once you’ve paused and given yourself a little space, you can begin to explore what’s actually there.

One practice I love is imagining what you might choose if you had no attachment to the outcome.

What if you could make a decision and trust that you would be able to navigate whatever came next?

What if you weren’t afraid of getting it wrong?

What if your little human parts weren’t so worried about the consequences?

Take a breath and ask yourself:

“If I had permission to explore whatever I wanted, what would I be drawn toward?”

“If I asked my spirit, my intuition, what would I hear?”

Then notice what shows up.

You don’t need to force an answer. You don’t need to make something happen.

Just get curious.

Sometimes, when we loosen our attachment to how things are supposed to turn out, we create space to hear ourselves more clearly.

You can also ask yourself:

“What’s the vibe?”

These are simple ways to begin reconnecting with your inner guidance.

And remember, intuition doesn’t always arrive as a perfectly formed plan with every step mapped out. Sometimes, you may simply feel drawn toward something, feel a little nudge, or sense that you’re ready to explore a different direction.

You don’t have to know the entire journey to pay attention to the next thing that calls to you.

Here’s another important piece of this: sometimes, you’re genuinely not ready to make a decision.

You’re still gathering information. You’re still feeling things out. You’re still in those yellow-light vibes where something is calling to you, but you’re not quite sure what you want to do with it yet.

And that’s okay.

You don’t have to force a decision before you’re ready.

But there’s a difference between consciously choosing to wait and avoiding a decision indefinitely because you’re afraid of being uncomfortable.

So, if you need more time, acknowledge that.

Say to yourself, “I’m choosing not to make a decision right now. I’m still gathering information, and I’m okay with that.”

That is a decision.

You can also give yourself a time to check back in.

Maybe you need a few days to think about something. Maybe you need to have a conversation, learn something new, or simply give yourself room to process your feelings.

Whatever it is, make a little promise to yourself that you’ll return to the question.

This is important because our little heads can be very good at pushing uncomfortable decisions into the distant future.

We tell ourselves we’ll figure it out later, and then later becomes next week, next month, or next year.

When we give ourselves both spaciousness and a commitment to check back in, we’re learning to trust ourselves.

We’re learning that we can take our time without abandoning ourselves.

We’re learning that we can make decisions without pressuring ourselves to have every answer immediately.

Intuitive guidance will sometimes ask you to change.

It may ask you to pivot, be flexible, explore something unfamiliar, or let go of a way of doing things that no longer feels right.

And when we reflexively respond with “I don’t know,” we can unintentionally close ourselves off to those possibilities.

We can convince ourselves that we aren’t capable of figuring things out, when in reality, we’re human beings who are constantly learning and growing.

So, instead of using uncertainty as a reason to stop, what if we began treating it as an invitation?

“I can take the next step without knowing every single detail.”

This isn’t about pretending to know something you don’t. It’s about remembering that not knowing everything doesn’t mean you know nothing.

You can trust your ability to learn. You can trust yourself to make choices. You can trust yourself to adjust when new information comes in.

And you can allow your human self, with all its worries and questions, to be in service to your spirit rather than letting fear make every decision for you.

You are a glorious, magnificent, capable, fantastic, beautiful, divine, innate creator.

You don’t have to prove that by having all the answers.

You can begin by allowing yourself to participate in your own life.

So, the next time you catch yourself saying, “I don’t know,” give yourself a pause.

Take a breath.

Ask yourself, “Is that true?”

Maybe you genuinely need more information. Maybe you need time. Maybe you’re still figuring something out.

That’s okay.

But perhaps there’s also a part of you that already has a feeling, a desire, a little nudge toward something different.

Give yourself the space to listen.

Remember that you don’t have to know everything before you begin. You don’t have to be certain of every outcome before you make a choice.

And you can start trusting that you are capable of navigating the life you’re creating.

“I do know. I’m still learning. I will figure it out.”

Then ask yourself: What’s one small step I can take right now?

Because you are a divine, amazing creator.

And remember, you don’t have to improve upon who you inherently are. Sometimes, you simply have to reconnect with the part of you that has been there all along.

If you’re feeling called to trust yourself more deeply and reconnect with your intuition, I’d love to support you!

Explore my intuitive mentoring and book a discovery call to see if we’re a good fit to work together.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to be willing to begin.

Sending you all my love,
Sonia