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Identifying Insecurity VS Intuition In Your Relationship

Today, we're talking about the difference between feeling insecure in a relationship or if it's your intuition telling you something.

If there’s some deep part of yourself that’s telling you that this relationship isn’t right for you, or maybe you’re wondering, is my partner having an affair? Is this the right fit? Is this what where I should be?

There are some real, grounded ways to tell the difference between your heart and gut voice, the voice of your spirit, your intuition, and your own insecurities, and I’m going to teach you how to tell the difference.

I hear about this all the time because I work doing readings, and I’ve been mentoring for over a decade.


And what comes to mind is a mentoring client of mine.


She really wanted a relationship and called me. She was like, I finally have a boyfriend, and I was like, Oh, I’m so excited as she’s talking to me.


She’s telling me about him, that he’s in the Navy, and he’s so wonderful and grounded.


And then she’s like, and now he’s moved in, and I feel like I need my own space, but everything’s good.


What I found and felt vibrationally was that she was talking herself into this relationship.


What she wanted most was any relationship she had found, but it wasn’t necessarily the right fit.


As she kept talking, I found that she was trying to convince herself and me that this was a match.


I’m neutral but could see how we can fuze our insecurities and intuition.


Our insecurities come from a place of our wounding. These come from a belief that we are lacking of some sort. Our insecurities often lie in our ego.


Our ego is the protective shell that forms around us when we are first like kids, and our ego self separates out.


The way that our ego makes sense of the world is by stories. The thing about the ego is that it believes what it knows is all there is to know.


So with that, our ego doesn’t look for truth. It looks for affirmation and confirmation of what it already believes.


And so when we’re in that place of our insecurity, it will often come back to those same stories and patterns that repeat.


For example, with the client I was talking about, there is a deep insecurity and lack of. There is a fear that this is the only relationship, and I have to make it work.


But we could feel underneath that it wasn’t a right fit.


So she kept trying to talk herself into it.


When we really start to pay attention because insecurity feels very different from intuition, insecurity will make you feel afraid because it comes from a place of fear. It’ll come from lack.


It will go all or nothing.


It doesn’t look for truth. It looks for confirmation.


So when we’re in insecurity, we can sometimes trace.


For example, if we’ve had some wounding around partners who weren’t faithful, our ego might tell us a story in our relationship that I’m not good enough or my partner’s having an affair.


Or sometimes, in a relationship, you just tune out and pretend everything’s fine when, in reality, you can feel that something in your gut is telling you that something’s not right.


When we look at intuition, intuition has a very different signature.


If insecurity is rooted in fear and lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, our intuition is rooted in a deep truth.


It tells the truth, and it also is the guardian of our worth and our value. It’s like the most sacred defender.


It’s the one that says, Absolutely not, you deserve better. This isn’t working.


The way that intuition resonates in your body is it doesn’t use fear. It tells you. It resonates in your whole being as TRUE.


It comes from a place of self-love and self-worth, unlike our insecurities that come from the opposite.


We are often taught not to trust our feelings when we are young.


We’re told that we have to be nice. That we have to be okay. That we have to be a lot of things.


I remember a friend of mine always told me that every time she saw her uncle, she just got a weird vibe.


It was just a weird thing.


But no matter what, her family always told her she had to be nice.


And so she was taught at a very young age not to trust her intuition, to trust her feeling body.


We see this all the time.


We are told to look to the authorities.


Our parents often don’t teach us how to validate our own vibes.


So when we get an inkling, when we get a vibe, we get an idea that something’s off. We’re often taught to dismiss it.


We get disconnected from that deeper vibrational system that speaks to us, tells us the truth, and guides us to our highest good.


When we are taught that we can’t trust our feelings, we confuse intuition for criticism or judgment. We confuse it for not being fair.


Intuition has a few different signatures.


First, it’s not rooted in fear. It’s rooted in self-love.


Two, It’s consistent. If you have a gut feeling that something’s not right in your relationship, whether it’s that you’re not with the right partner, whether it’s that somebody is cheating, or if you are here to ask for more. Whatever it is, if it’s consistent and not rooted in that place, that
lights your nervous system on fire, fight, flight, freeze, and figure it out.


That is your voice.
That is the voice of your intuition speaking to you.


I can think of another client I had who was in a long-term relationship with a partner she wasn’t in love with anymore, but she really wanted a baby.


So she kept talking herself into this relationship until she suddenly called me, feeling like everything in her life was squeezed.


She said, I just want a kid, but I don’t know if I can make it work with my partner.


And ask, Well, how long has this been going on?


She was like, Years.


I’m like, Wow. That’s the voice of your intuition speaking to you.


Having a partner is lovely and supportive in having a child, but there is part of your body and of yourself that has kept you in this perpetual waiting cycle that’s telling you something has been consistent.


It has been saying this is not the right fit.


Whatever you decide moving forward, that is good information.


Intuition also gives you free will choice, and then you can make a grounded decision.


When we’re in insecurity and fear, it lights up our fight, flight, freeze, and figure it out system. That’s where you get a little rotisserie chicken on a spit.


That’s where we get into overthinking.
That’s when we try and figure it out.
That’s when we try to make the shoe fit like Cinderella.


So if you find yourself talking yourself into or out of a relationship, good chances are that underneath that, if you get quiet, your intuition is trying to tell you something.


Now, if you’re constantly worried that your partner is cheating, maybe there is a wound underneath it around worthiness that I’m not worthy of having that there’s somebody out there who’s better.


That is a good telltale sign of our ego intellect, often pointing to some deeper inner child healing that we need.


And first, we have to repair those parts of ourselves that were told that our feelings weren’t valid.


Feelings and emotions are different from our intuition, but our feeling body is where our feelings come in, into our physical bodies. Our guidance system.


Your body has wisdom.


So if you’re with a partner and you’ve found that there’s no more spark, but everything’s good, chances are there’s something in your intuition yourself that’s asking you to go deeper.


Is this enough? Can I be worthy, work on my self-love, and come from that place of loving myself, knowing and trusting that as I follow that voice and thread, that will always lead me to my highest good


Our heads will get into, oh my goodness. Well, dating out there is crazy or whatever, whatever the narrative is.


Pay attention. Our ego-intellect tells stories that repeat over and over and over again.


Often, it’s lions and tigers and bears or the worst-case scenario.


So we have to pause and ask ourselves, is that true?


And before you get back into the whirlwind, call the girlfriend who will tell you now to talk you into or out of it. Give yourself a moment and start to journal and open that portal, or even just pay attention to what your fears are.


A lot of times, our fears can give us some good insight into where our insecurities lie. From there, we can do some deeper healing that not only helps to connect us but also allows us to create the relationships that we so desire.


So the telltale signs of insecurity are:


  • Fearful
  • Stories
  • What it knows is all there is to know
  • All or nothing
  • Repeats itself
  • Can often be traced back to some of our own childhood wounding


While intuition is:


  • Rooted in self-love
  • Consistent
  • Not fearful
  • Gives you a choice
  • Resonates in your whole body as true
  • Feels good
  • Connected to your self-worth.


I hope this helped to be able to be able to differentiate anxiety and insecurity from true intuitive guidance.


If you like this, leave me a comment. I would absolutely love to hear from you.


I will see you next week!


Sending you all my love,

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