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How To Train Your Ego and Change Your Life

Is your ego ruining your life?

Our egos, unchecked, are really good at wreaking havoc in our lives. They mess up our relationships, connections, and ability to create ourselves and actually block us from the intimacy and connection that we need, from the x-plane of the people we love and the y-plane of our guides, angels and higher self.

 

So today, I’m going to share some simple tools to help you reframe and redefine your relationship with your ego.

The ego often receives criticism because it hinders intimacy, connection, and self-awareness when it takes charge and directs our decisions. It acts as a protective shell, isolating us from our surroundings.

 

We need an ego. If you didn’t have an ego, you wouldn’t be able to distinguish yourself from a speeding bus that’s going down the street, and we need that. You don’t want to get hit by a bus and end up splattered.

 

But a healthy ego supports our spirit and our higher selves.

 

Egos are protective shells, and when they are in control, those shells become walls. The ego tends to think in black and white, in terms of right and wrong, good and bad, all or nothing. It prefers to believe that it possesses all the knowledge there is to know, which can obstruct our personal growth, our evolution, and the development of deeper connections and intimacy.

 

“When you are focused on being right, thinking you have everything figured out, and trying to win arguments at any cost, that’s your ego at play. It’s also present when you believe you’re superior to others, judge them, or aren’t fully present in your interactions. These are all ways that ego can interfere.”

 

And because our ego gets afraid, it will often stop us from making any progress.

 

The first tool we’ll use is adopting a beginner’s mindset.

 

The ego likes to believe that it knows everything and often shows up in spiritual and everyday life, asserting, ‘I have it all figured out. I know people’s reasons, intentions, X, Y, and Z.’ But in reality, we don’t know.

We need to remember that what we know is not all there is to know.

 

When we practice a beginner’s mindset and stay curious, we can shift away from black-and-white thinking and start to connect with our spirit.

 

Our spirit and our intuition are curious. It’s available, it wants to learn. So when we can have a beginner’s mindset, we lower the bar, we let ourselves make mistakes, we let ourselves have fun and figure it out. So really check in. Be a beginner, especially with the things that you are struggling with. That can be very hard. The ego is not very compassionate.

 

The ego enjoys making sense of the world through stories. It creates grand narratives about ourselves, the world, and our families. The ego often dwells on the past, projecting our past experiences into the future.

 

It sounds like, “Because I didn’t get that raise, I’m never going to be able to get a raise.” or “Because I wasn’t successful in a relationship. All of our relationships are doomed.” That is ego.

 

I often see this with my clients: sometimes, even before they take a step, their intuition tells them something very clearly, but their ego gets in the way, saying “We’ve already tried that. It won’t work out.” But the truth is, they don’t really know that.

 

We can begin to notice, “Ah, I’m caught in a story narrative.” We recognize it as a story because it tends to repeat itself.

 

Ego love the same story like a child over and over and over again. We can notice those narratives. We can stop, pause and be like, “That is a story,” that allows us to come back to present. And that’s where we can be curious. That’s where our intuition resides.

 

The ego enjoys creating narratives and making sense of the world through stories. It has a tendency to focus on the past and projects the past narrative into the future.

 

Instead, and this is tool number two, I can embrace curiosity.

 

I wonder what will happen? I wonder what this next experience will be?

It prevents us from taking the old and making it new, keeping us stuck in the same cycles and patterns.

 

For me, I notice that I slip into my ego during arguments or conflicts with my partner or familybecause ego asserts itself loudly, craving to be right and to have all the answers: “You listen to me. They never listen.” It’s a big challenge for me.

 

So when you notice that you’re stuck in a familiar pattern and narrative driven by ego, speaking excessively and overexplaining, take a pause. That is a story.

 

Pause, take a breath, and get grounded.

 

Instead of paying attention to that chatter that goes into our minds, figuring it out, go in and pay attention to the sensations in your body.

What will happen is that your ego will say, “No, no, no, let’s go back to the story. Come back up.” Say no and pause. Come back to the feeling and the sensation and be curious. Where is it? Is it in my shoulders? My neck, my chest, my legs, my solar plexus?

 

The more that we can start to sit with these sensations and feelings, it quiets the ego and helps us gain clarity on our emotions.

 

The ego can become overwhelmed by emotions because it craves resolution. It seeks to organize experiences into timelines and narratives. However, when we avoid feeling our emotions—the sensations that reveal our values and experiences—we remain caught in constant mental chatter.

 

It only requires a few steps in practice to return to the present moment: “What am I feeling? Where is it in my body? What is it trying to communicate?” This approach helps establish new patterns and pathways for the ego to serve us more effectively.

 

And last big thing is when you’re struggling with your ego, feeling stuck, overwhelmed, it’s crucial to go out and be in nature.

 

The ego often feels alone, isolated, and disconnected, especially when it’s causing chaos. By reconnecting with nature, we acknowledge our place within a larger ecosystem, where trees have stood for centuries. This reconnection reminds us that we are part of something greater.

 

Living in Louisiana, I’ve seen oak trees that are 800 years old—amazing! Reconnecting with nature reconnects us with our spirit, our higher self, and the natural order. It sparks wonder and curiosity, rekindling our intuition and enhancing our ability to listen deeply. It also helps us realize that what we perceive as big problems may simply be temporary challenges in the present moment.

 

These are just a few simple tools to begin training your ego to allow more of your spirit, goodness, and shine to emerge, rather than solely protecting yourself from the world. The ego isn’t an effective protector or bus driver; its strength lies in maintaining healthy boundaries and awareness, topics I might explore in a separate video.

 

If you enjoyed this read, leave me a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

 

If you’re interested in honing your intuition through personalized guidance, consider my exclusive mentoring program. I accept only a few clients to ensure dedicated attention. Would you like to learn more? Schedule a complimentary discovery call with me to explore if we’re a good match and how we can work together effectively.

 

Leave me a comment, leave me an emoji, share with a friend and I can’t wait to see you next week.

 

Sending you all my love,

Sonia

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