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How to Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires

One thing that empathic and intuitive people can fall prey to is energy vampires.

So let’s get clear what are they, how do we protect our energy, and how do we not get sucked into that undertow.

Energy vampires are people who are not aware of their own energy and drain you. Anytime you leave a conversation or interaction with them, you feel zapped. You feel like the life has been drained out of you.


My favorite example is a show I love called What We Do in the Shadows, which features a man named Colin Robinson as an energy vampire. I definitely encourage you to Google it.


Basically, energy vampires feed on your energy, and the way that they do that is often, they are involved in some sort of drama or trauma. They’re the ones who download upon you. They are the ones that take your time, your energy, and resources. You’re offering solutions. You’re there, but nothing feels better.


The first telltale signs of an energy vampire are there’s always a catastrophe, a disaster, or a drama. 


It seems to follow them wherever they go, and frequently, it’s not their fault. Energy vampires have very little awareness of accountability, and they love to be in this heightened drama because drama is addictive in our minds. If we’re involved in a lot of conflict all the time, then we get wired for it.


Second, they will use you as a way to unload.


Empathic, intuitive people are often compassionate, understanding, and patient, so they will take all of your time, energy, and resources without any awareness of how it affects you.


When you are around an energy vampire, they might get really upset and then download to that whole point until you’re absolutely saturated and don’t take accountability. Because that drama is addictive, and they feed on the attention that it gives them. 


Examples are their cat is dying; there’s an emotional catastrophe here, and the X, Y, or Z that becomes the way. They’re perpetually negative. Negativity affects our energy and drains us of our own resources.


So when we can spot energy vampires, we can start to spot how they make us feel after we leave an interaction. Do you feel uplifted, or do you feel drained? These are good things to note.


Energy vampires often like to one-up you. If you’re sharing something that’s going on in your life, if they have time to even listen, they’ll always have something bigger, more dramatic, or more intense. That’s because they often like to be the center of attention, with no awareness at all aside from their own intensity.


When you’re around energy vampires, another really big telltale sign is that they’ll diminish what’s ever going on in your life, and whatever’s going on in their life is even more intense.


I can think of an old friend that I used to have back in high school. Every single time that I would spend time with her, she would end up cornering me and downloading all of her woes onto me. I would listen so patiently, and I would offer solutions, support, comfort, and reassurance, but nothing ever changed until all of a sudden, I realized she was an energy vampire. This doesn’t work for me or my Spirit.

So, instead of having to respond or engage, the first thing we have to do is notice how this person makes you feel.


Second, that is also where we get to set boundaries.


Boundaries can look like, “Hey, I’m saturated, and I don’t have time for that or I’m unavailable.” Or “Sounds like you’re having a hard time, but actually, if I check in, I’m at Max Capacity right now.”


Boundaries, especially for intuitive, empathic people, are the most important because our energetic and actual boundaries, which first dictate our relationship with ourselves, let other people know how they can treat us. 


And if you are sometimes stuck with an energy vampire in your family system, when we set boundaries, they often don’t like it. They might say you’re selfish, self-absorbed, or X, Y, or Z. Just know that they’re trying to hook you back into that same cycle.


When we set boundaries, we also have to avoid reacting because energy vampires feed on emotion. That’s why they love drama, and there’s always something messy going on. 


So, when we allow ourselves to not react by just one of the tools that I used in my video the other week around how to stay grounded in your own energy (that would be a great video to check out if you have energy vampires in your life that you’re trying to stay centered with.)


When we observe and don’t absorb the energy, a real simple tool that you can use if you’re around an energy vampire, our solar plexus is where we often absorb energy, so you can cross your arms and slightly tilt your body away, which doesn’t allow that download to come into your physical container.


Third of all, it’s really important to lower our expectations of their capability when dealing with energy vampires.


Know what they’re capable of since they often have their own work, soul work, and soul growth. If we can lower our expectations instead of constantly trying to usher, reassure, overdo, and lower the expectations for them and for ourselves.


When you’re empathic and intuitive, you often want to be a nurturer, you want to help, but that can lead to people-pleasing, abandonment, and getting stuck in this vicious cycle of being drained. So lower your expectations. What is my capacity? Do I even have the capacity?


Another one of my favorite tools is to use your right and left foot and walk away. 


You can say, “I hear that that’s hard for you,” then leave.


You are not responsible for them, their energy, or their blah blah blah.


The more we start to enact these boundaries and follow through on them with consistency, even if it’s the closest family member, the more we start to change those ingrained patterns and start to change the relationship of what it is I allow you to treat me.


Last is that you don’t have to be a Dumping Ground.


We can often confuse being supportive for being a catch-all container for people’s blah blah blah, and these people feed on the drama and aren’t that aware; they are often very codependent as well.


When we can start to say, “This isn’t something that’s working for me, I’m actually not available.”


A few weeks ago, I had a neighbor who came to town, and she had a friend who had heard from another friend about some really intense emotional stuff, which was like, I need to really share this with somebody. Are you available? And she was actually like, No, I’m not. I don’t have space.


So if you’re around that, I mean her friend had like the wherewithal to ask. But suppose somebody just starts with that barrage. In that case, you can pause and just say, “Hey, it sounds like you’re having a really hard time, but I don’t have the capacity, so I would encourage you to maybe think about getting a therapist or finding somebody else who’s better suited to be a support.”


And my other favorite one with energy vampires is I’m confident that you’ll figure it out, and that is the end of the conversation. And then you can switch gears, and again, if that doesn’t work, right and left foot, walk away. 


The more that we are aware of our own energy, the more that we are protective and rooted in self-love for ourselves through our Spirit and even through love for other people. That is how we can protect ourselves from like being bit. No garlic needed.


So don’t get drained, don’t get bit, and remember people will figure it out.


Honestly, sometimes, you don’t have to trust their ego. We can trust their Spirit, and we can trust their higher selves. That is where I put my confidence, even if I’m not that confident in their human selves. Also, they’ll find somebody else, promise.


I hope that you enjoyed this read and that you found some good tools to help you notice energy vampires and protect yourself from being energetically bitten.


Leave me a comment and tell me what you think.


I am sending you all my love, and I’ll see you next week,


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