Sometimes getting away is exactly what we need to see our lives a little differently.
All of a sudden, we’re out of our default mode network. We’re out of our barking dog. We’re out of our tunnel vision of life.
Think about it. Anytime you go to work, you probably get off at the same road. You make the same right turn to get home. We get really locked into these grooves and patterns that limit our awareness.
Those patterns can pull us away from the present moment. They can pull us away from our spirit, from other people, and from new experiences. And they can get us really stuck in stories about how we are, how the world is, and how the people in our lives are.
That same habit can actually become the lens through which we see everything.
For example, if we always think it’s going to be really hard to look into managing our accounting, it probably will be, because that’s the story our little default network keeps coming back to.
That’s what I love about travel.
It interrupts the pattern.
It brings you back into the present moment.
Don’t Wait for Other People to Create the Experiences You Want
The very first lesson I wanted to share is one that I find incredibly important, not just for travel, but for life:
Don’t wait for other people to create the experiences you want to have.
I mean that so wholeheartedly.
I talked to a woman recently who really wanted to create her own community. She’s been studying tarot, mentoring her guides and angels, and exploring all of these different things that she loves so much.
And she said to me, “Sonia, I love it. But I have no one else to share this with. I am all by myself, and I am in a place in middle America. And I’m sure that this is going to get me burned at the stake in one way or another, ousted.”
And the funny thing is, if that is your perception, if that is what you’ve decided, then that is probably what is going to be reflected back to you.
So instead of paying attention to what you don’t want, let’s change the channel.
Create a shared experience around what you do love.
If you want community, create opportunities for connection. For example, if you love tarot, go look for a full moon gathering with women. That’s a wonderful place to share something you love.
And if there isn’t one?
I find this a lot with myself when I travel and visit my family, too.
Sometimes I’ll end up sitting around waiting for everyone else to be done with whatever they’re doing so that we can go play. And what I find is that when my own barking dog ego gets involved, I can end up missing out on different experiences.
Instead of saying, “Okay, I guess I’ll wait,”
I can say: “This is something I want to experience. Let’s go do it.”
Flea Market Story
When I was in France, there is a flea market called Marché aux Puces. It’s literally called the flea market, and it’s world famous.
I have known about it for years and years and years.
But I always assumed my mom wouldn’t be that into it.
My Nana way back in the day—my mom was one of seven—and my grandfather worked at Montgomery Ward’s. They would always thrift shop. They would give my mom secondhand clothes and pretend that they weren’t secondhand.
So my mom has always been particular about what she likes when it comes to secondhand things.
And I had just assumed, in my little barking dog, that she would hate this experience.
That it would be no fun.
“This is an experience I want to have. Let’s create a shared moment of connection.”
So I made plans.
I said, “Let’s go on Sunday.”
I invited her, and she was totally game.
Of course, we got there, and the place I had planned to go was completely closed.
Always ask for help.
That was a moment where I was like: “Angels, please help me. Please, please, please.”
Whenever you’re struggling, especially when your shared experience is going a little off the rails, ask for help.
Because the moment I did, we found this beautiful, sweet little restaurant with a beautiful natural wine bar, gorgeous dishes, the kindest waitstaff in the whole wide world.
We had a beautiful lunch and then had a wonderful time at the market, seeing so many gorgeous, interesting, incredible things.
And it was such a good reminder.
My ego and my intellect will often take a backseat and wait for other people to invite us.
We’ll say:
“Oh, nobody likes that.”
Have you created the invitation? Have you shown up?
Are you okay going by yourself?
Because even with the flea market and my mom, if she hadn’t been into it, I would have been perfectly content going by myself.
So yes, create your experiences.
But also develop the independence and autonomy to go do what you love, to do what feeds your spirit.
Use Humor (It’s a Spiritual Tool)
The second lesson, and one of the most important, is: Use humor.
Humor breaks up the ego frequency of taking things so seriously.
I find it invaluable in dealing with life. I find it invaluable as a spiritual tool that I can implement at any time to break up my own hardness, my own intensity, and my own need for control.
And I experienced this at the flea market, too.
I was walking around all of these different stalls, and I found this little hole-in-the-wall place with a very, very, very serious French guy.
His little stall was very serious.
He was taking things seriously.
And then I was taking things seriously.
I was looking at things, and he was taking them and putting them right back on the rack.
I was thinking:
“Oh my gosh, this guy’s got to give me space. I’m not enjoying this. I’m going to…”
And then he came over once to grab something out of my hand.
And it was interesting, because instead of getting all up in arms, I just laughed.
I said, “Merci,” and laughed.
And the moment I laughed, he started laughing.
We had this really funny exchange.
And all of a sudden, humor allowed this interesting ego dance that was happening to become a completely different experience.
By the end of it, he was pulling out all sorts of different things.
“Try this on. Try that.”
We were having this whole fashion show.
And it was such a good reminder that humor can instantly create a vibrational shift.
It creates more internal flexibility.
It creates flexibility with the world.
And it actually invites other people to connect with their spirit immediately.
So when in doubt, find the humor.
Be Open to Surprises, Wonder, and Magic
And last but not least, as always, this is my number one tool that I share with my clients when I’m mentoring them:
Because just like I was saying at the beginning, our little default mode network can really put the blinders on.
But when we have open hearts, open eyes, open ears, open noses, and we’re actually paying attention to what’s in front of us, and all of a sudden, magical things start to come in.
Having wonderful exchanges.
Like the stamp shop.
The Biggest Lesson: Create, Laugh, and Stay Open
Sonia
Sonia








